Embracing the Shadow Self

Come to the dark side with me on this podcast embracing our shadow self podcast. Embracing your shadow is like finally finding the missing piece of the puzzle you didn't even know you had.

www.alteredhaven.com

🔮Psychic Medium,  📚Empowerment Teacher,  🎤Podcast Host
 🌕Full Moon Newsletters,  💖 Shaman and Angelic Practitioner
 🌈Chakras Practitioner & ✨Reiki Master

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Transcript

Welcome to Mystical Musings podcast, where we explore the intersection of spirituality, personal growth, and empowerment. In each episode, we will dive into a different topic, sharing insights and intuitive wisdom by me, your Intuitive host Trina Zaragoza. I am RN, Shamanic/Angelic practitioner, past life Practitioner, Reiki Master and above all, kindred spirit.  

today’s episode we are exploring the Shadow Self. So welcome to the dark side.  In this episode, we'll explore all aspects of the shadow self and how we can bring in support to these pieces. Let’s journey together to see why it's essential to understand it. And explore the many facets and gifts of your shadow self. 

What is the shadow side? We hear this term is used in spirituality, but what is it? 

Let’s first understand where the term came from …The term 'the shadow' was made popular by psychoanalyst Carl Jung. He saw it as the uncivilized, even primitive side of our nature. We all have a shadow self. It is generally made up of the parts of ourselves we deem unacceptable.

But as we know, your shadow isn't a flaw or a mistake — instead, it's a natural part of who you are. I see it as a vast endless gift of possibilities and expression. Shadow work is, at its heart, about developing self-awareness and, ultimately, self-acceptance and compassion. Shadow work is often both therapeutic and spiritual, helping you see the different parts of yourself.  The more we acknowledge, Identify, and embrace these pieces, the more energy balancing we bring into our lives.

Balancing the mind, body, and spirit is important for centeredness. Embracing our shadow and well-being recognizes the interconnectedness of the different aspects of our being and emphasizes the importance of taking care of oneself in all areas of life. The goal of embracing this shadow self is to achieve balance and harmony, leading to overall well-being and fulfillment.

It's the parts of ourselves that we have repressed or denied. These may include negative emotions, traumatic memories, contracts/vows, or unwanted thoughts and behaviors. But remember, everything has a duality. The good/bad, the positive and negative…. you must see both sides of the coin.  The shadow can also include positive qualities we have not fully embraced, such as creativity, passion, personal power, beauty, unexpressed talents, sacred divine self, or intuition.  The hidden gifts within.  How often have you had to lower your energy or change an aspect of yourself for others?

To work with the shadow aspect of the self, it is important first to become aware of it. This can be done through mindfulness, journaling, meditation, past life exploration, ritual/ceremony, psychedelics, and therapy. Once we have brought the shadow into our awareness, the next step is to work to be compassionate and non-judgmental with ourselves. This involves exploring the origins of your shadow self by examining any beliefs or patterns contributing to its hold on you and helping yourselves move into practicing self-acceptance and self-compassion. Easier said than done…I know this is a constant one I am always striving towards. 

As my shaman training taught, you cannot have light without dark.  Disease is dis-ease with your spirit and emotions. Working with the shadow aspect of the self can be challenging; it’s not a walk in the park per se, but once you do, you will find it’s a place of great clarity, healing, and, most of all, growth. 

It is a lifelong process, and it may require patience and persistence. However, by bringing the shadow into the light and working with it in a healthy way, we can learn to integrate all aspects of ourselves and live a more authentic and balanced life.

When I say a balanced life, that does not mean we will not have challenges or difficult emotions that will come into play in our daily lives, but it’s going to teach us to respond differently and bring in resources and support to help get ourself through that event or emotion 

When I sit with spirit they show me the darkness within and outside of us.  It is the energy of fertilization. It’s the place of possibilities, and we choose what gets planted and grows in this space through our thoughts, emotions, and actions out into the universe.  If you don’t have a conscious awareness of these three things, you set yourself up for failure.  

What do I mean by this? If we can’t see the limiting beliefs, difficult emotions, unconscious biases, and the reactions we do…we will plant and grow chaos in our lives… we grow what we put out in this energy field with our emotions, thoughts, and actions we take… we need to start seeing them as little seeds we are planting and nurturing to grow into our lives.   

When we look at it like this, we can start to see what we need to change and move differently. I call this our shadow garden. Are you growing an amazing garden of beautiful flowers and herbs of acceptance, or are you growing weeds of resentment, sadness, anxiety, and anger?  It’s a delicate relationship with the shadow aspect of self so is being a gardener. 

By facing and confronting these aspects of your shadow self, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your motivations, leading to increased self-awareness and personal growth. That expresses out by overcoming negative behaviors like procrastination, avoiding difficult tasks or situations, excessive criticism of oneself or others, substance abuse, addictive behaviors, destructive or risky actions, and engaging in unhealthy or codependent relationships.  We all do some of these in one form or another. 

It will help us see the emotional kaleidoscope that we can stay seeping in, like anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, guilt, shame, jealousy, and envy, and this makes us act out in self-sabotaging behaviors. We have been taught that emotions are bad but really, they have a huge energy frequency that we can tap into and magnetize energy into our lives. The question is, what magnetism are you going to bring in? positive or negative.?

Our souls choose to come down here for experience and learning…and that means every aspect of the emotional kaleidoscope I mentioned earlier …happy, surprised, fearful, disgust, contentment, trust, vulnerability, and the range of emotions that we can experience is vast and complex and too many to list here.  But By learning to identify your emotions and why you have them is another part of embracing your shadow piece.

What blocks can prevent us from embracing and integrating the shadow aspect of ourselves?

Fear: The shadow can contain difficult or uncomfortable thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and it can be scary to confront these parts of ourselves. We may be afraid of what we will find or of being judged or rejected by others. contain aspects of ourselves that we are ashamed of or that we believe are not acceptable, and it can be frightening to think about sharing these parts of ourselves with others.

Resistance: Many of us have been taught to repress or deny our shadow, and it can be challenging to let go of these old habits and patterns. We may resist exploring our shadow because we are afraid of the changes it may bring or because we are comfortable staying with what we know.

Lack of support: It can be difficult to work with the shadow without guidance and support from someone trained and experienced in this area. Without this support, it can be easy to get stuck or to become overwhelmed by the process. This is where we bring in the therapist, counselors, life couches, community support, shamans, healers

Ignorance: We may not be aware of the shadow aspect of ourselves or know how to work with it in a healthy and constructive way. This knowledge is necessary to take steps towards embracing and integrating our shadow material. Learn, research do your own investigating, and see what fits for you.

What are some ways to help identify your shadow side?

Journal by asking these questions 

What thoughts, emotions, or behaviors do I tend to avoid or suppress?

What are the qualities or traits that I don't like about myself? 

What qualities or traits do I tend to hide? 

What behaviors or actions am I ashamed of or afraid to admit to myself or others?

What do I judge or criticize in others I see in myself?

What do I want but don't think I deserve?

These are some deep questions that may take some time to fully answer. The more we talk about our true feelings, the less they are held in the shadow. There are many ways to process these…journaling, talking with a safe friend, talking out loud to yourself, and seeing what comes up.  Sometimes we need extra support shifting and exploring our emotions and thoughts, and that’s when we need to ask for a little more support with counseling or support groups.  

I work with a trauma-based therapist to help me sort through the chaos of my thoughts and emotions. It’s a strength to know we are not an expert in this matter and let someone guide us to balance within.

Another way is to pay attention to your thoughts and feelings and to look for patterns of behavior that you may be repressing or denying. For example, you getting easily annoyed or angry at certain people or situations. This may be a sign that you have some unresolved issues or negative emotions that are being projected onto others. 

Explore your fears and insecurities, as these can often be signs of unacknowledged aspects of your personality..

What are some fun ways to embrace the shadow aspect of yourself:

Create a shadow journal: Spend some time each day writing about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences related to your shadow. This can be a private space where you can explore and express your darker or more difficult aspects without fear or judgment.

Explore your shadow through art: Use art to express and explore your shadow. This could be through drawing, painting, sculpture, collage, or any other medium that resonates with you. Let your imagination and creativity run wild as you bring your shadow to life on the page or canvas. AI art is an amazing way to express your shadow pieces as well

Engage in shadow work through play: Use games to engage with your shadow. This could be through role-playing, improv, or other activities that allow you to experiment with different aspects of yourself and see how they, feel. 

For example, you could try role-playing a character who embodies one of your shadow traits, such as anger or fear, and see how it feels to express that emotion in a safe and controlled environment. You could also try improv exercises that involve making choices and responding to prompts in the moment, which can help you to tap into your creativity and spontaneity and explore different parts of yourself. The key is approaching these activities with curiosity and playfulness to allow yourself to have fun and not take yourself too seriously as you explore your shadow.

Reflect on your shadow through meditation or mindfulness: Use meditation or mindfulness practices to bring greater awareness and presence to your shadow. As you focus on your breath or sensations, pay attention to any thoughts, feelings, or sensations related to your shadow. 

This can be done by sitting comfortably, closing your eyes, and taking a few deep breaths. Then, allow yourself to recall any thoughts, emotions, or behaviors you may have been suppressing or avoiding. As you become aware of these aspects of yourself, try to approach them with curiosity and non-judgment. Notice any judgments or reactions that arise and try to let them go without getting caught up in them. Instead, focus on accepting these aspects of yourself as part of who you are. You can repeat a phrase to yourself, such as "I accept myself fully and completely," to help with this process. Remember that the goal of this meditation is not to fix or change anything but to become more aware and accepting of all aspects of yourself.

creative expression or physical activity:  working out, singing that loud

Dancing: Dancing can be a powerful way to express and release emotions, including those that are difficult or uncomfortable. Try dancing to music that resonates with your shadow or explore different dance styles or movements that allow you to express different aspects of yourself.

Hiking or walking in nature: Being in nature can be a calming and grounding experience and can provide a sense of perspective and connection. Try hiking or walking in a natural environment, and pay attention to any thoughts, feelings, or sensations that arise as you move through the landscape.

 Outdoor adventure activities: Outdoor adventure activities, such as rock climbing, white-water rafting, or skydiving, can be a great way to push yourself out of your comfort zone and face your fears in a thrilling and exciting way. Try engaging in an outdoor adventure activity and see how it feels to challenge yourself and test your limits.

 Martial arts or combat sports: Engaging in martial arts or combat sports can be a great way to challenge yourself physically and mentally and help you release tension and stress. Try training in a martial art or combat sport and see how it feels to push yourself to your limits and face your fears in a controlled and safe environment.

 Yoga or mindfulness-based movement practices: Yoga and mindfulness-based movement practices can be a great way to connect with your body and your breath and help you bring greater awareness and presence to your physical and emotional experiences. Try practicing yoga or mindfulness-based movement and see how it feels to move with intention and awareness and to release any tension or stress that you may be holding in your body.

 Sitting with a spiritual shaman healer that works the psychedelic herbal medicine and knows the powerful effects of this medicine and  soul retrievals, past life work

 Engaging in activities that challenge or push you out of your comfort zones, such as trying new hobbies or experiences, in order to build your confidence and overcome your fears and insecurities.

 Last but not least is to Practice self-compassion and self-acceptance. As you become aware of your shadow material, try to approach it with curiosity and non-judgment. Allow yourself to acknowledge and accept all aspects of yourself, even the parts that you may not like or want to admit to.

 See it as a dance with our shadow self.  It’s a lifetime dance with this part of this journey. Is your dance going to mosh pit or a beautiful waltz.  Now I am not saying a mosh Pitt is not fun at times, but it expends a lot of energy.  The waltz is a graceful union that expresses love.  That’s the piece I would like to embrace of graceful union and love. 

A simple ritual to connect to your shadow side

Remember that this is just one example of a ritual to embrace your shadow side, and you can adapt it to fit your own needs and preferences. The important thing is to approach this process with an open mind and a willingness to explore all aspects of yourself.

Begin by selecting herbs that resonate with you and the intention of the ritual. For example, you could use rosemary to symbolize purification and self-acceptance or lavender to promote relaxation and stress relief.

Place the herbs in a small bowl or pouch and set them aside.

Next, choose a candle that also resonates with your intention. You could use a black candle to symbolize the shadow, or a white candle to represent purity and clarity.

Light the candle and allow its flame to symbolize the light of consciousness shining on your shadow side.

Take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to relax. Bring to mind any thoughts, emotions, or behaviors you have avoided or denied. As you do this, hold the herbs in your hand or place them near the candle.

As you acknowledge and accept your shadow side, you can use the herbs to help focus your intention. Smell them as you visualize this melding of the two

After spending some time in this process, take a moment to thank yourself for your willingness to explore your shadow side. Extinguish the candle and dispose of the herbs in a way that feels appropriate to you.

 Thank you for going on this me on this journey of the shadow self and the importance of embracing and integrating this aspect of ourselves. It is an important part of our psyche that can help us become more whole and authentic individuals.

Remember that the process of embracing and integrating the shadow is a lifelong one, and it may require patience and persistence. But by taking these steps, we can learn to integrate all aspects of ourselves and live a more authentic and fulfilling life.  If you would like a copy of the journal questions, they will be posted in links and resources at www.alteredhaven.com

Join us next time as we explore another topic at the intersection of spirituality and personal growth. Until then, take care and remember, "The only thing darker than my coffee is my shadow self, and let me tell you, it's one hell of a roast."